God is Always Near - Part 1

It was just an average day in the mundane life I was living. First green, then yellow I decelerated as the light turned red. Impatiently waiting to cross the busy highway a person approached my window looking for “change”. With a raise of my eye brows I shrugged my shoulders. My goal was to make them move along and to know I didn’t have any money. However that was a lie. $40 lined my pocket and I was not about to give it someone I felt didn’t deserve it.

The light turned green and I hit the gas like it was the last lap of the Daytona 500. As I was driving away, I watched the man in the mirror watch car after car drive by and no one cared the man was standing there. As the day continued, that man at the stop light remained on my mind. Who was he? How did he get in the position to be asking for money on a street corner? Did he have family that could help or support him in his time of need? Wait….what is his name? These questions haunted me my entire day.

At this time in my life I was going through somewhat of spiritual revival. The same evening I saw the man on the street corner I attended my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) meeting at my local Catholic Church. My best friend attended the meeting with me and as the meeting progressed I continued to be haunted by the man on the street. Thoughts of; ‘why didn’t I help when I had the means to, he is a person too and he asked for help and I ignored him’ continued. When the meeting ended, I dropped my friend off at home and continued to the store to get stickers to put on the next days garbage.

I got out of my car and put the keys in my jacket pocket I heard a voice. This was a voice that I had never heard before and a tone that I cannot compare it to. It was the words spoken that would lead to the most impactful experience of my life.

“I have big plans for you. You will not disappoint me.” The voice said

As I turned to the voice everything went dark.

My entire life, I searched for my purpose. What was I supposed to do with my life? Who was I and what did I stand for? Was there a better life for me than I was currently experiencing? Was I doing God’s will? These were all questions I asked in times of doubt and struggle. When problems surfaced in my life and the stress seemed to great to handle alone I turned to God. Many times it felt as though He turned his back on me. Every question I asked and every prayer I raised seemed to go unanswered. My search for answers seemed to at arms length.

The moments that followed hearing the voice were the most alarming and frightening of my life. No person can ever be prepared enough for what I experienced. It wasn’t until I was “awake” again did I know who spoke to me.