Callusing My Mind

Other than not having a single drop of alcohol this week there is nothing that really stands out to me as a “major” win. This week was full of wins, but nothing special. Typically, I stack wins like waking up before anyone else. Not anyone else in my house, but anyone else I know. Starting the grind early while others are still asleep is a great way for me to mentally prepare for the day and what’s to come. This cold, April morning was different.

I woke later than normal, 4:30am, and started my hustle. Filled up my 40oz water cup and started my 45 minute walk. My blood was just starting to flow when I noticed that I was starting to get tired. My legs weren’t tired but my body was exhausted. My mind was telling me to “go lay down, you deserve it”. Deep down I knew it was the “enemy” telling to take it easy. He was talking shit and I knew that I must push through. After a few more minutes of walking, the enemy decided to kick it up a notch. My back seized up on me and my time slowed greatly. I kept moving and eventually finished.

The next thing on my list was to complete the daily task of my morning meditation. While sitting on my couch and going through the breathing exercises dictated by Dr. Joe, the little f*cker showed up again. He sent negative messages to get me off my game and even thought it would be fun to cause a little more back pain. Listen, you can’t meditate properly with the enemy screaming in your ear or poking you in your back. You just can’t get it done. I stopped the meditation, stretched for a few minutes and then told the enemy to go pound sand. There was work to do and I intend to finish it. Started the meditation over and finished with out issue.

So here was the key, at 7:15am my daughter said how nice it would be if we didn’t do anything today and just “had a family day.”

Here were the thoughts that came to mind:

“It would be nice to really not do anything today. We worked our butts off yesterday.”

“Look at everything we did yesterday. I could use the rest.”

“That shit can wait until next weekend” …..

Wait…”what did you just f*cking say? That can wait?”

That was the point I went to war. Put my shoes on again and marched out to the garage and stared at the bag. Grabbed the gloves and got to work.

Now, you might think that the image in my head was the enemy. Or all of the people who had wronged me in the past. It wasn’t any of those. It was an enemy that shows up at the best of times and the worst of times. They can really take a great day and make it worse by saying just a few words. They can crack open the bottle and say,

“Just one won’t hurt!”

“Go ahead, no one would even know.”

“Take the day off”

“Spend with your family”

This asshole I deal with everyday. It’s me. My own mind.

That image that I pictured on the bag was me. The old me. The one who would listen to the thoughts and do as I was told.

Now let me tell you. I battled that f*cker for 12 rounds and threw jab after jab. Hooks to the head and then the body. Each round got more difficult. I took just as many hits to the body I what I shelled out. My back screamed pain. My arms felt like I was holding up cinder blocks. But I took myself the distance and won a unanimous decision. Goggins yelled in my head, “You don’t know me, Son”.

After my battle with my own mind, I realized that each day we all fight this battle. We get caught up sometimes and listen. Sometimes that voice in our head we give in and “have a lazy day.” No more. Not today. Today, I callused my mind so that voice is a little softer tomorrow.

What are you doing to quiet those voices? LFG!!!!